The Fellowship

A lot of people think and, as strange as it may seem, even like to think that they are an alcoholic. The term alcoholic is a term that is used far too casually and far too much. I have been drinking quite a lot and regularly for a very long time now, and although I drink an unhealthy amount, I found out recently that I am not an alcoholic - much to my surprise.

There are four different stages of alcoholism, each one being more detrimental to your health than the last. The first stage is where your social drinking ability has reached a level where you are amazed by how much you can consume without feeling too worse for wear. Most of us have had reached this point at one time or another. It then progresses to the second stage where you start to experience blackouts and harbour feelings of guilt about drinking; this is sometimes described as “functional alcoholism” which means, outwardly, they seem to be perfectly normal but still consume amounts of alcohol that will drastically affect their health as time goes on. Then there is the third stage, which really is the last chance saloon (forgive the pun) before you reach the fourth stage which is chronic alcoholism. At this point, it will be become an exceptionally difficult battle to overcome the disease. Yes, it really is a disease!

One of the difficulties in dealing with an alcohol addiction is the general attitude people have towards drinking. The world, especially Europeans, have a mild case of denial about the disease. You would never say to a heroin or cocaine user “fancy a quick needle lads?” or “I’m just popping up to the bathroom for a swift half a gram babe, care to join me?” but with drinking it is quite the opposite. Everybody boasts and laughs about their previous night’s debauchery and everybody else laughs about it with you. For my own part I have fallen down concrete steps, abused the general public, soiled myself, forgot hours upon hours of my life. I have spent literally thousands of pounds that I do not have on booze and I have bored and entertained my friends in equal measure in the process and I had a great time doing it, most people do. The downside is that I have spent so much time enjoying drinking that nearly ten years have passed. I am now thirty-two years old with no job and no career sitting on my sofa tapping away at a keyboard in the vain hope of salvaging something from it all that might result in a career in journalism. Hope springs eternal.

The main difficulty in dealing with an alcohol problem is not just other people’s acceptance of heavy drinking but also the abundance of alcohol in our society in general. Try to think of one social situation where alcohol is not readily available, it’s quite difficult. If you are a recovering alcoholic it must be a nightmare. Can you imagine trying to stop smoking Crack only to find yourself at a bowling alley with beautiful young ladies walking around with a tray of rock’s and a selection of pipe’s, or walking into a restaurant and being able to order some foil, a Zippo lighter and a glass tube, then being given a list of drugs written in a posh font showing off a selection of Peckham’s finest heroin. It would not be tolerated; in fact I think you will find that it isn’t.

I first became acutely aware of true alcoholism when I went to an AA meeting with a very close friend of mine who suffers with chronic alcoholism. For anyone reading this who has either attended an AA meeting or is living with the disease, let me assure you I am not about to talk in detail about individuals experiences, nor am I trying to make light of the AA . The functional part of the name “alcoholics anonymous” is the “anonymous” what is said or heard in a meeting stays in a meeting and I am not a group therapy tourist like Edward Norton in the film Fight Club. I attended the meetings at the request of my friend to show support and this article is not an expose on AA. The first time I went to a meeting I was surprised and hugely impressed with the program and I have the upmost admiration and respect for those who are part of what is referred to by members as “The Fellowship”.

The first thing that I learned after being in the meeting for half an hour is that I am not an alcoholic, I am just greedy and irresponsible. I would rather spend my time in a pub or at home drinking and talking about things that I should be doing, instead of getting my life in order. To make any comparison between the awful disease these people and their families are battling and my own laziness is an insult at best. The second thing to strike me was how upbeat and at times humorous the meetings can be. I am ashamed to say now that I was expecting, even if only subconsciously, to walk into a room full of sad individuals who wreaked of their own bodily functions whinging about problems that anyone could have but just aren’t able to deal with. I could not have been more wrong.

The room was full of people from an amazingly wide spread of backgrounds with problems born mostly out their disease that were horrific to say the least. They were articulate, witty and the bravery they showed in sharing these problems with what is essentially a room full of strangers so that they might help themselves and others to deal with their affliction was inspiring and I left the meeting feeling uplifted which really did surprise me. After the meeting was over I walked outside with my friend to have a cigarette and we bumped into a mutual friend who was also in the program and as I drew my lighter to his face he smiled at me wryly. I must have been thinking very loudly because he said “You weren’t expecting that was you?” “No, not at all” I replied. He then gave me a brief history of the AA and told how it had helped him and others that he had become close with through the meetings. We all had a coffee, in a pub of all places and I went home and gave myself a damn good talking to.

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The AA is self funded via member’s donations and has no affiliation with any other outside body or association so as not detract from the main goal of achieving sobriety or attract any controversy that might undermine their purpose. Drinking is only one of the many symptoms of alcoholism and to stop drinking once you have gone so far is a huge undertaking and some people don’t make it. I am not trying to scare you off from drinking. I am quite sure that some of you who are reading might well be under the impression that you are an alcoholic and it would be wrong of me to try and diagnose the disease in this piece, but if you think you are or think you aren’t if there are any concerns in your mind or of others around you who care for you do not underestimate the severity of how bad it can get. There plenty of great websites that can help you work out if you might have a problem and a trip to your local GP is never bad thing. And if the destructive ability of alcohol is not enough to treat it with respect then maybe this thought is. If you dismiss the power of serial boozing out of hand and wait until it’s smashed your life to pieces you not only have a titanic battle to get what’s left of your life back, but if you do get it back you will never, ever, ever be able to drink again. Cheers.